Just deserts

It will come as no surprise, I suppose, that Totally Awesome Computers has shut it's doors. Likewise, it will surprise no one that the demise of the company is NOT the fault of the owner, Dell Schanze. But Super Dell, being the super person that we all know, has found a way to exceed our expectations. He is, Super nuts.

Seriously.

From the truth is stranger than fiction files, here are the actual quotes that will prove my point.

"It's too bad that all of the media in Utah are liars and murderers," he said. "You just destroyed the greatest computer company of all time. We were the best in the world, the world champion. All this hatred was created by you. You're basically angels of Satan. All I can say to the people in Utah is, please pray for all the news people."

Liar and murderers! Strong accusations, coming from a man who will soon go to trial (May 10th) for brandishing a weapon. But I'm sure it's the fault of the angels of Satan that the stores closed. Not the 50% decline in sales in the last year.

"I'm doing everything I can to make sure my employees are taken care of and, even more importantly, that all of my customers that I've made promises to, even if I have to perform miracles, are taken care of so no one's services are interrupted,"

Gosh. Is it too late for me to get one of these world champion computers with the Miracle Guarantee?

And in case you missed the gun story, it seems that Dell was on his way to go para-gliding one day with his 8 year-old daughter. Some local residents took offense at his driving at 75 MPH through their neighborhood, and pursued him to the Point of the Mountain. When they confronted him, he pointed a Glock 10mm at them. Or maybe he just showed it to them. Or maybe he didn't do anything at all. Perhaps it was the other gun in his ankle holster. It's hard to tell, as his story has changed. I guess we'll see in May. Never the less, Dell is always ready with a quote and on this occasion he let fly with these two gems.

"This was a very simple case of freakin' psycho road ragers. They didn't like how I was driving and they came after me."

"It's just astronomically, ludicrously insane to tell the community that it's not OK to defend yourself"

Yes, Dell. I'm sure this is just the sort of thing the Founding Fathers had in mind when they wrote the Second Amendment. Defending one's right to drive double the speed limit through a residential neighborhood.