The EMC Effect

My friend John forwards this picture, with accompanying text...

"Universal AC units

Fits all Makes & Models, call today to order yours."

This spawned a bit of a discussion among the people that he forwarded to. I'll recreate the interesting bits here.
Bear with me folks, I'm going somewhere with this.

John: "I took this picture down at the company parking lot. Too bad I couldn't
get the license plate in the shot.

Whoever's it is has an "I love EMC" sticker on it."

Scott: "It's my wife's ride. She used to date the EMC rep."

Mike: "Thank you Scott!

Got Windex? I need to wipe the coffee off of my screen..."

Scott: No but EMC will give you some free. You just have to pay $90k a month maintenance....

Rick: ....to get a bunch of contracted services to write up a procedure
to apply the windex. For $250,000, you get a 1st cleaning.

John: I think if you look closely at the picture again you'll see the vehicle
owner as he looks over his shoulder backing out.

Rumor has it that this was a former employee. Unfortunately for
him, his dream job was lost after the merger.

Mike: That is rich...

You guys better watch it or we'll all get outsourced...er...wait...never
mind...


OK, guys. That's all well and good, but I took a closer look at the picture, and that's not an EMC Chiller at all.

That's a NetWind 840. It's not a bad cooler, but it only cools the back seat.

What you NEED is the EMC in-dash model. The Chillmetrix 1000. These run about $1.5 million, but with your discount, that will only be about $999,000. Plus, you will need to upgrade the engine to about 500-600 cubic inches.
Oh. And you will need to buy installation services from EMC. That's another $400K, but on the bright side, it will be installed in only 3 months. And you will get a nice document that explains how it was installed a few months after that.
And an I love EMC sticker.
Oh. I almost forgot. There is an urgent patch that needs to be applied. I think you might be able to install that yourself, but it would be better if you had one of our guys install it. He can be there next Friday.
Lastly, you can get by with what you have, but you really need to buy a copy of EMC Chill-Center to adjust the fan, temp, and monitor the results. That will run you $50K plus PS dollars. And you will need to install the steering and accel/brake interface kit so that the Chillmetrix can pull over to a pay phone if it starts to see any problems with the compressor or Freon. Don't worry, the steering interface almost never causes any other problems. And the Freon is free for customers with the $90K maintenance contract.

Hope that helps.

Shall I send the TC over to have a meeting to discuss how many you will be buying?